About Thelonius ‘Monk’ from Erasure

• moderately successful novelist
• criticized for not being ‘black’ enough
• smart enough to know race is a social construct
• and that he’s actually a shade of brown, not black

His problem?

• mom has Alzheimer’s
• gay brother is getting divorced/losing his family/losing his moneys
• abortionist sister doctor murdered by religious people
• he writes a parody of a ‘black’ novel and it ends up becoming a best-seller, and he has to pretend to be two people
• and it’s really annoying because he won’t stop whining about it
• but he uses the money to help out his family and stuff, so that’s cool I guess

This sells, Monk. Deal with it.

Sexxi Points

• he turns down sex if you’re pathetically desperate
• or if you have bad taste in literature
• no really, he will leave you crying half-naked even with a raging boner
• he’s willing to stick up for gay dudes being hassled at a bar
• even though they end up not needing his help
• oh, and he loves his mom, which is good

Boner-Killers

• he’s basically Holden Caulfield, but ten years older and a sell-out
• he is incapable of shutting the fuck up about how he was his father’s favorite child
• and just fuck someone.

The Verdict?

Whining aside, Monk is still sexxi as hell. His ability to turn down sex had me slipping over my own vaginal juices. Rating: bien sexxi.