About Thelonius ‘Monk’ from Erasure
- moderately successful novelist
- criticized for not being ‘black’ enough
- smart enough to know race is a social construct
- and that he’s actually a shade of brown, not black
His problem?
- mom has Alzheimer’s
- gay brother is getting divorced/losing his family/losing his moneys
- abortionist sister doctor murdered by religious people
- he writes a parody of a ‘black’ novel and it ends up becoming a best-seller, and he has to pretend to be two people
- and it’s really annoying because he won’t stop whining about it
- but he uses the money to help out his family and stuff, so that’s cool I guess

This sells, Monk. Deal with it.
Sexxi Points
- he turns down sex if you’re pathetically desperate
- or if you have bad taste in literature
- no really, he will leave you crying half-naked even with a raging boner
- he’s willing to stick up for gay dudes being hassled at a bar
- even though they end up not needing his help
- oh, and he loves his mom, which is good
Boner-Killers
- he’s basically Holden Caulfield, but ten years older and a sell-out
- he is incapable of shutting the fuck up about how he was his father’s favorite child
- and just fuck someone.
The Verdict?
Whining aside, Monk is still sexxi as hell. His ability to turn down sex had me slipping over my own vaginal juices. Rating: bien sexxi.