I’m sure you all know the basics of Life of Pi, even if you’ve just seen the cover of the book. Big blue ocean. One boat. A boy and a tiger. It’s not a complicated plot, but, like anything in this world, there’s still just enough room for a pervert like me to have an opinion.
About Pi Patel
- sixteen years old
- son of a zookeeper
- well-off, but manages not to be a dick about it
- spiritual, deep, but not spoiled, like an artist with a trust fund he can’t touch until he’s 35
- Stranded at sea on a shitty lifeboat
- without too much know-how
- or supplies
- and his family is dead
- OH AND DID I MENTION THERE’S A TIGER WITH HIM.
- HE PUTS THE TIGER’S NEEDS FIRST.
- Like food and water and stuff. He doesn’t have sexual relations with the tiger.
- But I’m sure that tendency translates into other areas.
- Realizes that he needs the tiger too
- and they develop this beautiful relationship where the tiger’s senses alert Pi to danger
- like on that island that eats you in your sleep
- and turns your teeth into flowers
- and they eventually trust each other to live in the same boat
- it’s just such a beautiful relationship
- Circus trainers who beat tigers into doing tricks just don’t get it
- THEY JUST DON’T WANT TO PUT IN THE EFFORT
- oh yeah and he’s pretty deep and spiritual and wise and stuff like that
- and he has survival skills
- and clearly relationship skills
- more impressively, he retains his relationship skills in a survival situation
- he has like three religions
- and I have none
- so raising our kids would be really difficult
- and it would have to be that serious, because this guy definitely doesn’t hook up.
- he possibly hallucinated the whole tiger thing
- so yeah he uhm might be prone to some PTSD or shell shock or severe emotional fuckeduppery.
At the end, he did have a wife and children, so I’ll take that as proof that he doesn’t hallucinate and murder people in his sleep. With machetes. Rating: bien sexxi.
Also, I think I should tell all of you that I’m married to Pi now. Not literally, but spiritually. Like how nuns marry Jesus. Just letting you know.