As a kid, Jurassic Park was more than just my favorite movie — I think at one point it was my legal guardian. The paperwork is fuzzy.
About Ian Malcolm
- famous chaos theory mathematician
- like, a rock star of math.
- I’m already sold
- is brought to Jurassic Park to endorse/not endorse the park
- wears all black
- because he can’t be bothered with clothes
- has multiple kids with multiple women
- is always on the lookout for the next ex-Mrs. Malcolm.
- He’s trapped on raptor fucking island.
- ability to predict everything that is going to happen
- and be snarky and sarcastic
- even in the face of death
- …although if I was really being eaten by a t-rex and some dude was like ‘I TOLD YOU SO’
- I would probably kill him
- but it works well here.
- the multiple kids, multiple wives thing is a bummer
- but he’s rich, right?
- so he probably hasn’t completely abandoned them?
- In both books, Malcolm’s MO is pretty much
- ‘get hurt, take morphine, ramble about chaos theory.’
- he’s way, way more heroic in the movies.
- Just sayin’.
I’m definitely in line to be the next ex-Mrs. Malcolm. I’m number 8930. Take a ticket and get behind me. Rating: BIEN SEXXI.