I’m not interested in Harry because he’s like, a child for most of the series. That’s a little too creepy. While we all know Harry ends up becoming a grown ass hottie, I can’t in good faith analyze things he did when he was 10.
So who was an adult at the start? Who hasn’t been done to death?
- saves Harry from an abusive relationship
- introduces him to his secret wizard-ing life
- he’s basically the bouncer of Hogwarts.
- Generally monster-like, misunderstood, coarse and potentially unlovable.
- I like the whole, saving a kid from an abusive foster home
- and then giving him lots of money
- and helping him save the world and stuff
- and how he can take care of dragons
- he’s half-human, half-giant
- and I’m a mixed kid
- basically the same, right?
- oh, and he’s always carrying people
- so that’s nice, he could like
- save me from a burning building
- inside voice maybe?
- he cries too much
- I can’t understand WTF he’s saying.
- if he’s five times as wide as a normal man…
- I mean
- there’s such a thing as “too big.”
- there’s definitely a sort of
- I mean
- haven’t you heard of the law of diminishing returns?
I think we should just be friends partially because having sex with you would feel like childbirth. Rating: You Can Go Down on Me But That’s It.