
Are you turned on yet?
So hi. I’ve been in school reading shit like The Canterbury Tales, which I have no interest in writing about, and I took a break from being overly critical of fictional characters. Sorry for the hiatus. Since I also carry hearts in a box for Aztec gods (part time), I was immediately drawn to Jess Galvan of “The Dead Run.” Let’s see how he measures up to the ruler:
About Jess Galvan
- wrongfully jailed in Mexico
- for defending a hooker
- who was being gang-raped
- he’s pure of heart
- or something
- until he kills someone in cold blood
- He has to bring a still-beating human heart through the desert
- to some ceremony
- to appease an Aztec god
- and bring about the end of days
- but he’s actually part Aztec god himself.
- Can someone be this flawless?
- Oh, he married a religious nutjob
- Oh well. Spoke too soon.
His problem?
- In addition to the whole still-beating heart, end of days, Aztec god thing, his daughter has also been kidnapped by a cult who wants to rape her/eat her heart/use her as a channel to the Aztec god world/something equally horrifying for a father.
Sexxi Points
- there’s the whole “always defending women” thing
- regardless of whether they’re virgins or prostitutes
- which is nice.
- And he loves his daughter.
- Did I mention he’s part god?
- like a very small part, though
- like when I say I’m part Incan, like
- 1/162th of a percent or something.
Boner-Killers
- pawn of evil
- sometimes possessed by a bloodthirsty god
- who I think killed his wife while he was deflowering her or something
- so yeah there’s a lot of weird virgin/whore stuff in this book
- he was in jail
- so he was unable to be with his wife and kid
- so that kind of sucks
- I like when the dudes I’m dating aren’t in prison
- but I’m a bitch like that
The Verdict?
Lots of good qualities, but the whole “might be possessed by an Aztec god” thing is a little crazy. Yes, that’s my way of saying that I would totally go for it. BIEN SEXXI.
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